There comes a point in life when you realize that friendship isn't just about who makes you laugh or who's been around the longest. It's about energy alignment, shared vision, and mutual elevation. Let me take you through my journey of friendship evolution – from giving everything without boundaries to creating a circle that reflects my growth.
I used to be that friend – the one with an endless supply of compassion, resources, and understanding. My heart beat with unfiltered empathy, and I would literally give you the clothes off my back, slide you money when you were struggling, all while asking for nothing in return. My friendship came without judgment – no kids? No career? No husband? Caught cheating? It didn't matter to me. I saw your humanity first and circumstances second.
But life has seasons, and I've entered a new one.
Now I understand something profound: people can only relate to you through the lens of their own experience. When I speak of business challenges as someone who's been an entrepreneur since 26 (honestly, even earlier than that), I need someone who understands that particular hunger, that specific struggle. When I discuss balancing motherhood with ambition, I need someone who's walked that tightrope. When I reflect on relationship dynamics, I need someone who's done the work to build something sustainable.
The conversations are different. The mindset is different. The energy exchange is different.
This isn't about elitism – it's about alignment. About recognizing that while everyone deserves compassion, not everyone deserves proximity. I've learned that your innermost circle should reflect where you're going, not just where you've been.
As a businesswoman who takes her growth seriously, I've had to make peace with outgrowing certain connections. Some friendships were seasonal, some were lessons, and some were blessings that simply reached their natural conclusion. And that's okay.
Your circle determines your ceiling. The five people closest to you shape your thinking, influence your decisions, and either fuel or drain your momentum. Choose wisely, with intention rather than convenience.
I still love deeply – that hasn't changed. But now, that love comes with boundaries, with standards, with the wisdom to know that sometimes the kindest thing you can do for someone (and yourself) is to love them from a distance.
